If you want to find purpose and direction in life, it’s crucial to start with a deep understanding of yourself. This is a big part of ‘personal leadership.’ I liken this process to assembling a puzzle, where each piece represents a part of who you are and what you aim to achieve. Finding your purpose is about bringing these pieces together to create a coherent picture. However, like any jigsaw puzzle, we need to find our corner pieces first – the pieces that get us going, orient us and allow us to add the other necessary pieces to make the whole.

At its core, this involves two fundamental questions: “Who am I?” and “Where am I going?” These questions, though seemingly simple, often perplex many. More often than not, confusion arises when people conflate their identity with their actions, leading to a lack of direction and purpose. This is to say that there is a big difference between who we are and what we do. The toxic tribes we choose often just confuse the matter even more. However, to achieve clarity, it’s essential to differentiate ourselves from the outside world. Equally important is defining our personal vision.

The Identity-Vision Disconnect

Many people identify themselves by their roles or professions—teacher, manager, doctor, etc. However, this is often a big mistake. These roles do not define who we truly are. Instead, they are merely what we do. The essence of who we are lies much deeper—in our passions, values, and intrinsic motivations. Understanding this distinction is a crucial first step for developing a meaningful personal vision.

To discover who you truly are, you need to identify what really drives you. This is the person you are underneath it all – in the absence of outside influences. Indeed, this process can be challenging, but a few reflective questions can help. Start by imagining that you have three minutes left to live and that you want to be remembered for something. What would that something be? Chances are great that it wouldn’t be something related to your job or the “toys” you’ve collected.

We can advance this even further. Next, imagine you could no longer perform your current work. Perhaps, due to an unfortunate accident or health condition. What would you pursue next?

And finally, imagine a world where all your needs were met regardless of employment status. In other words, if money was no object and you were independently wealthy, how exactly would you prefer to occupy your time? That is… after you’ve enjoyed your time being lazy.

I want you to note that I am not asking about what would make you objectively successful. I’m asking about what would make you excited to get up in the morning. This isn’t about an occupation (yet). Just think about the things that inspire you to live or things you’ve always wished you could do.

These questions help identify your core passions and values. Hopefully, you’ve identified something close to your heart. For instance, you might have discovered that you are a scientist or a philosopher at heart, driven by a love for knowledge or critical thinking. Others might find they are artists, athletes, musicians, or poets. The list goes on, but the point is that recognizing these core aspects of your identity is like finding the corner pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Once you have these key pieces, it becomes easier to connect the other parts of your life and begin to build a vision.

Building the Bigger Picture

Understanding your core identity helps inform your vision. This identification is important because your vision should be central to your purpose in life, representing what success looks like for you. Ideally, this vision should align with your true self and intrinsic motivations. If this alignment is not there, we typically feel lost and out of control.

For example, if you identify as an artist or a philosopher, your vision might involve creating a body of work that challenges and inspires others. Or, it might be in creating something that someone else values. If you see yourself as a musician, your vision might include using your music to bring joy and connection to people’s lives. The options are limitless, and these are merely two of endless examples.

However, it’s also important to recognize that individuals can have multiple passions and identities. One person might be both an artist and a philosopher; another might be a scientist and an athlete. You don’t have to choose one over the other. You can, in fact, be both or more. Embracing these multifaceted aspects of your identity can enrich your vision and make it more unique and comprehensive.

That said, I want you to understand that a true personal vision often goes beyond societal pressures and material success. So, while society may push you toward financial and social achievements, a true personal vision will be rooted in your core identity and will focus on deeper, more meaningful outcomes. Success, in this context, involves fulfilling your intrinsic motivations and fostering the things you hold dear instead of ignoring them for whatever excuse you might provide yourself.

Assembling the Vision Puzzle

Finding your corner pieces—your core identity aspects—helps you see the bigger picture of your life and points you in the right direction. Understand that each day, you are putting pieces into your puzzle. If you are doing it right, each piece of this puzzle should fit naturally and contribute to a coherent vision. However, when the pieces are forced where they don’t belong, the picture becomes distorted, leading to dissatisfaction.

Taking the time to ensure that each piece fits correctly allows you to build a clear, meaningful vision, leading to a more fulfilling and prosperous outcome. This means playing the long game and prioritizing correct fits over quick fixes. The trick is to ensure that the pieces you hold align with your true self rather than forcing them into the wrong positions. A great way to explain this is by examining ‘Sarah’s Dilemma.’

‘Sarah’s Dilemma’

Sarah was a highly successful corporate lawyer in her mid-thirties. Despite her achievements, Sarah often felt unfulfilled and disconnected from her work. She realized that while she was good at her job, it didn’t resonate with her core identity. She got into law to make a difference, but in recent years, she began to feel that she was part of the problem. She wasn’t helping the ‘little guy;’ her job kept her from having a family, hobbies, or a social life, and the only thing she really liked was the money and working with her younger colleagues, but the weight of the job often hindered that as well, and she didn’t have time to enjoy the money anyway.

After a very stressful summer, Sarah decided to take a sabbatical and reflect on her true passions and values. She asked herself, “If I had three minutes before I died, what would I want to be remembered for?” and “If I couldn’t work at this company any longer, what would I do?” Sarah soon discovered that the answers to these questions suggested that her current life was not what she wanted. In fact, she found that her current position was an obstacle to the realization of her dreams.

Sarah was faced with a decision. However, at first, she thought the choice was to either stick with her current position or simply abandon the legal industry altogether. However, the truth was that it wasn’t an ‘either-or’ situation. Thankfully, Sarah realized she loved mentoring junior colleagues and enjoyed explaining complex legal concepts in simple terms. She also had a long-standing interest in writing and storytelling. Surely, there had to be something out there that could bring all of this together.

Thankfully, Sarah allowed herself a moment to dream, to envision her “best-case scenario.” In that, she envisioned a future that incorporated each of these elements. And that’s when the real question hit her. Was she going to continue down the road she was on, abandon her discipline, OR… customize a solution that truly meant something to her?

She chose to create her outcome. It wasn’t long before Sarah began her transition from her corporate role to a position as a law professor, combining her passion for teaching with her legal expertise. She also began working part-time as a civil rights attorney and then shifted her blog’s focus to civil rights issues. Finally, everything in her life began to make sense, and it began to align well with what she was passionate about. In her new roles, Sarah found a sense of coherence and fulfillment that had been missing in her corporate job. Best of all, she had time to relax and really connect with others.

Ultimately, Sarah found her vision. It was just hidden in plain sight. Now, each day means something to her. She found that she was connecting with great people who aligned with her vision. She began to love the time she invested instead of dreading it. And because she was connecting with her ‘tribe,’ she found Kevin, the love of her life. Her life now has a purpose – the purpose that she decided on. All she needed was to find her corner puzzle piece.

Lessons Learned

Imagine if Sarah had ignored her introspective findings and continued to pursue higher positions within her corporate law firm. She would be denying herself the realization of her puzzle. Despite the potential for greater financial rewards and prestige, she likely would have continued to feel unfulfilled and disconnected from herself. This misalignment could have led to increased dissatisfaction, burnout, and a sense of purposelessness.

Are any of us so different from Sarah? Many of us succumb to societal pressures and media influences. The question is, would you rather live a life driven by purpose or by societal pressures? That’s a decision that we must all make. However, I would argue that finding and fitting the right pieces of your identity puzzle is crucial to our ideal outcomes. By discovering our core passions and values, we can create a personal vision that aligns with who we truly are, which leads to a more coherent and fulfilling life.

Final Thoughts

Perhaps another way to ask it would be, would you rather be wealthy and unhappy or fulfilled and joyful? It’s really sort of a trick question because by aligning your career with your true interests and values, you actually create an environment where genuine satisfaction and YOUR version of success can coexist. This is to say that when you are genuinely excited about what you do, your energy and commitment drive you to excel at what you do, which typically leads to both personal and professional rewards.

Real purpose requires a deep understanding of who you truly are and a clear vision of where you want to go. Your identity is not determined by your actions or career. Instead, when you live authentically, your actions and career will naturally align with who you really are. In other words, recognize that your identity is not defined by your current role, but you can choose or create a role that better reflects your true passions and values. You can absolutely define success on your terms.

The trick is knowing that how you define success may not look like what society suggests it looks like. So, what does your completed puzzle (success) look like for you? This shift in perspective begins by differentiating between your identity and your actions, discovering your core passions and values, and putting puzzle pieces that align with your true self into their proper places.

Embrace your multifaceted identity, focus on meaningful outcomes, and carefully assemble your vision puzzle. Stop worrying about the picture society is trying to force you to make. Instead, choose or create a picture that truly represents who you are and what you aim to achieve. Put one piece down at a time to ensure that each piece fits. If it doesn’t, set it aside for now and try another one. And be patient because the pursuit of happiness is much more fulfilling than the pursuit of completion.

A Few Other Examples for Clarity:

1. John loves numbers, so he chased a career as an accountant. He’s really good at what he does and gets paid very well working for a large corporation. However, he feels unfulfilled and is increasingly disheartened by the corporate practices that prioritize profit over ethics. After all, that’s not how he was raised. So, John begins to reflect on why he feels this way and realizes that his discomfort stems from this misalignment. John asks himself the questions and begins to envision a future where he can align his accounting skills with his core values of honor and integrity. He decides to leave his corporate job and join a small accounting firm that specializes in providing affordable financial services to small businesses and low-income individuals.
2. Tabitha is a marketing executive for a large beverage company. She’s paid well, but she sometimes feels guilty about the marketing tactics used against the youth. She knows it’s wrong and sometimes feels shame when telling others what she does for a living. So, she asks herself the questions and realizes that the reason she feels guilty is because she wants to help people instead of exploit them. But she loves marketing and being creative, so she envisions a life where she can use her skills for good. She soon left her corporate job to start her own marketing consultancy focused on helping non-profits. In that, she has aligned her career with her passion for helping others and her values of empathy and community service.
3. Mike is a skilled machinist. He used to love it, but lately, he feels really burnt out. He works for a major manufacturer in his town and makes good money, but for some reason, he finds his job to be relatively lonely and not very challenging. After asking himself the questions, he realizes that he loves working with his hands, likes being around people, and values the challenge of learning. Mike transitions from his full-time machining job to a teaching role at a technical school, where he combines his passion for hands-on work with his desire to educate and inspire students.